Why Should You Think Of Forgiving Your Partner?

Some partners in a relationship fail to express forgiveness because they misunderstand the essence of showing forgiveness to their partner. They often give it a wrong meaning and as result, would withhold forgiveness from their partners. For instance, an aggrieved partner may think that forgiving their partner is like minimizing the offense. Or, they may reason that extending forgiveness to their erring partner would mean forgetting what the partner had done to offend them, thus, sort of allowing them to get away. Still, they may feel that forgiving their partner is an indirect way of telling them that they are fine with the mistreatment. These are misconceptions or misunderstandings about the essence and meaning of forgiveness. To maintain a kind of control or power over their spouse, some partners would think not forgiving is their best shot when it comes to exercising some control or power over their partner. So that whenever a disagreement and argument occur, they would bring back the past event as leverage over their partner. People’s experiences in their relationship or marriage tend to affect their thought process, especially if what they had hoped to find in their relationship, like marriage, was different from what they got. So when an argument or disagreement occurs, they stubbornly refuse to give in, wondering just how their partner who should have been the perfect match could possibly see things from another perspective. Stuff like this makes one feel disappointed. In time, they may begin to find faults with their partner and may withhold forgives as a way of expressing their disappointment.

Clear Blue Skies

Being hurt by someone can cause anger, sadness, and confusion and can make it hard to forgive. But, it is even more difficult if you were hurt or betrayed by someone you love and trust as much such as your partner. When this happens, you feel utterly disappointed and betrayed, and you find it really difficult to accept. But, why should you think of forgiving your partner? Is it worth the effort? As a matter of fact, how can you even forgive your partner? The question of how to forgive your partner genuinely would make more meaning to you if you understood why you should forgive. So, before we examine how to genuinely forgive your partner or anyone else, we need to first discuss if and why you should forgive your partner. Should You Forgive Your Partner? Who has not been hurt by the deeds or words of someone else? One way or another, we all have found ourselves at both ends of either being hurt by the actions or words of another or we cause the pain and hurt of another person either by our action, words or both. Either way, to move forward, forgiveness was necessary, wasn’t it? What is forgiveness? Forgiveness is a decision that a partner makes to let go of a grudge leading to resentment and revenge. When you decide to forgive another, it means that you are letting go of resentment and the thought of revenge. Granted, when you are feeling disappointed, offended, upset or betrayed, the idea of forgiving the ’betrayal’ can be very difficult. It can be more tempting for you to harbor resentment, grudge, or negative emotions, particularly, given that the action that caused you to feel pained, hurt or offended might always be with you, but forgiveness can minimize its grip on you and help free you from the control of the person who caused harm to come to you. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who offended you. Forgiveness helps to bring a sort of peace that helps you go on with life.

Letting Go

Although, the wounds that come from being hurt or betrayed by your partner can leave you with lasting feelings of anger, and bitterness, and thoughts of revenge, but if you don’t practice forgiveness and you decide to hold on to resentment, you might be the one who pays most dearly. Resentment and being unforgiving will clear the path for anger and bitterness between you and your partner in your relationship. Holding grudge and refusing to forgive will have you wrapped up in the wrong so that you can’t enjoy the present. You may also experience constant emotional trauma. You will begin to feel that your life lacks a purpose. You may end up losing valuable and enriching connectedness with other people, including your partner. Your relationship may experience constant ruin. Clinging to resentment and refusing to forgive can be likened to drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. If you’re not careful enough, anger can eat away at you and even affect your attitude towards your current relationship as well as your relationships in the future, as you may be dragged into feeling more defensive or untrusting. On the contrary, forgiveness pays. Holding onto grudge can sour you and keep you from finding real peace. When you have difficulty forgiving, it becomes difficult for your emotional wounds to heal.

It's Okay To Look Back

Forgiving your partner when they hurt you affords you the opportunity to let go of pain and emotional hurt and continue with a lighter heart. Forgiveness will improve your relationship with your partner by helping you feel more satisfied in your relationship. Forgiving your partner also helps to sustain your relationship through hard times, and sets the foundation for your relationship to function better. Apart from improving your marriage or dating relationship, forgiveness can also improve your other relationships by helping you build trust and connections with other people. You can also be helped to reduce the risk of anxiety, depression and hostility. Forgiving your partner genuinely and not holding onto resentment can help you lead a healthy and happy relationship because a lot of stress, headache and disagreements that come with resentment will be reduced or prevented. So, you have seen that the benefits of go of resentment and practicing letting forgiveness far outweigh the problems associated with being unforgiving and holding onto resentment.