Am I Too Old To Start Over?

Your most recent relationship has ended, and you’re thinking about a new one, or looking for love. Right, and this time around, you want to do it right. How do I move on and forget about my ex? What kind of person is right for me? Am I too old to start over? Will it be worth the effort if I do? Believe me, I understand. I’ve heard the same concerns and fears from literally hundreds and thousands of people just like you, who want to know how they can find a happy, healthy, and fulfilling new love. The kind of love that keeps your relationship strong, the kind of love you tell your children about, the kind of love you dream of. There are over one hundred million single adults in the United States today, and four out of every ten were already married once. Who can blame you for feeling anxious or afraid? It can be overwhelming, I know. What does all of this mean for you? The simple, practical steps I’ve developed from this research have been shown time and again to help singles find new and happy relationships. Better yet, these steps will be incredibly easy to implement in your own life. The person you have fun with and love to be around. The person you’ll grow old with. In and around the greater metropolitan area of Detroit, I have a private practice as a marriage and family therapist.

Try Again Tomorrow

How did I make the move from pure academia to working with folks just like you? It’s how we give each other feedback, collaborate, and move science forward in positive and beneficial ways. But right around this time, I began to hear the same questions and concerns again and again from my therapy clients, research subjects, workshop participants, and college students. Why am I constantly attracted to the wrong people? How can I avoid repeating my disaster of a marriage? Am I too old for love? Are there any available people out there for me? Can I ever trust again? What good was this information doing tucked away in a pile of dry academic journals? I was passionate about making this type of science not only accessible, but understandable and helpful to the general public. Are you divorced or separated and thinking about dating someone new? Are you in an unhealthy relationship right now but are reluctant to leave because you’re afraid you won’t find love again? Have you had your share of past relationships but haven’t found one that sticks? Have you lost your partner or spouse and wonder if you’ll find someone to love again? For example, did you know that it’s women, not men, who are more selective and wary of commitment following a divorce? Or that most divorced singles don’t share money or living expenses once they get into a new relationship? Did you know that men are four times more likely to blame themselves for a breakup or divorce than women are? Or that people who are in happy relationships are more physically active than their single counterparts? This is just some of what relationship research shows us. Is it possible that this information might give you an edge in the dating world? And much of it simply isn’t true! These myths and incorrect assumptions about relationships cause us to enter into new relationships with fears, misguided actions, and preconceived ideas that affect how we feel, how we behave, and even whom we choose to date. This is how classic dating blunders and misunderstandings begin. And this is why many of us don’t succeed at dating or finding someone special. What kinds of issues do people in my study deal with when it comes to finding love again? They have enormous feelings of grief and loss for the relationship that’s ended. They feel disappointed and rejected. Often, they feel angry. What should I say on a first date? Where can I find quality people to date? How do I know if what I’m feeling is real? They worry about how and where to meet someone new. And once they do, they worry about how their family will react to a new partner, and how they can avoid repeating the same mistakes from their last relationship or previous marriage.

Us And Them

I’m sure you’ve experienced many of these same feelings, too. You simply don’t know who is right for you yet. You deserve and will find love. Finding the right person, as much as other dating guides may proclaim, is not about the right outfit, the right restaurant for a first date, or waiting three days after the date to call. It’s about looking inside of yourself, and rebuilding you from the inside out. By changing the focus to you, you are actually in control of finding your special someone. You’re in more control than you realize. Now that’s empowering! By rebuilding yourself from the inside out and identifying who is right for you, you’ll also be making changes that will allow you to have a healthy relationship with your new partner. Just being in a relationship isn’t enough. One study found that unhappy relationships increase your chances of becoming ill by 35 percent. Studies also support the idea that negative relationships cause greater physical wear and tear on the body. Love and intimacy can alleviate headaches, improve your immune system, help you to heal faster from wounds and injuries, strengthen your heart and respiratory system, and lower your blood pressure.

Life Will Humble You

When you are in a loving relationship, the whole world looks more positive and you feel more confident too. A happy relationship makes you feel better about yourself, and this optimism and confidence motivate you to take better care of yourself, eat the foods you should, exercise, and go to regular doctor appointments. A loving partner can help you deal with your job or other issues, like not having enough money to pay your bills, crazy drivers on the freeway, or not getting enough sleep.