Remove The Desperation From Your Communication

Confidence is not a state of mind. You’re not going to be able to motivationally quote yourself to be more confident. It’s about the action steps you take. And because you made that phone call, you feel more confident because you spoke to that person. Because you put your running shoes on, you stepped out the door to go for a walk, you feel better. Confidence is an action state. How you frame them and put them into action states, rather than states of mind. Your body can control your personality. For example, jumping, changing your posture and breathing can change your state. The thing is, when most of us get down or sad, we fail to change our physical state. We keep our body language down rather than thinking about what actions I need to take right now to change my state. For example, going for a walk, or changing your breathing pattern and looking up rather than looking down will change your state.

All Or Nothing At All

Therefore, changing your body can make you more effective, more confident, more powerful. There are four qualities to being more confident and creating more confidence. You want to realize that one, everybody is faking it. If you’re aware that everyone is faking it, you don’t have to worry. No one is just born confident. Therefore, if no one is born confident it means that confidence can be created. Everyone has a skill set, such as an action, behavior, and habit pattern that supports them in appearing confident to others. This is why you need to find what works for you. Just because it works for someone else does not mean it will work for you. You can start by mirroring others, but at some point, you need to master it and make it your own behavioral pattern that can turn on at any point in time. If you watch any professional performers, athletes, dancers, or musicians they all have a routine they perform. This routine helps them prepare mentally and physically for the activities they are about to do.

All The Time You Need

You will notice they jump up and down, they stretch, they breathe deep, they listen to certain music to prepare themselves. Therefore, my question to you is what do you do at various times throughout the day to enhance your performance? Become very clear about setting the expectation towards positive outcomes. A lot of us will approach a situation and think about what happened in the past and how it didn’t work in the past. Or how this happened in the past. And as a result, you’re using that and you’re putting that as a framework in the future. And that’s just a repeating pattern. For the longest time I would set big goals but frame them with pessimistic filter. I would expect failure and focus on the mistakes. Rather than focusing on the positive outcome I really wanted. The faster you can become aware of what your focusing on the faster you will create change. Don’t Repeat Past Failure Patterns! Learn from your past and design a framework for success and execute that pattern focused on success. You can be aware and prepared for challenges or obstacles but they should not be your core focus.

Out Of Nowhere

Your core focus needs to be the end result that you want to achieve. You want to be very clear on the setting, like, what you focus on is what you get. Therefore, you want to be focusing on how you create the pattern or the habit you want? If you want a successful outcome, what would that successful outcome be? Get clear on what it would look like, feel like, how would you experience this outline? How can you use your Present Butler to support your future success? Who do you have to be to create a successful outcome? At what point have you collapsed in the past in your framing? If you’ve collapsed in the past, how can you identify the point when you’ve collapsed in the past? How do you interrupt the pattern? This is about identifying your villains and removing their power. Therefore we need to remove the power and focus from these thoughts. I’m not gonna be able to pay the rent and might be evicted. Okay, that’s not such a big deal. I can live in my car. I can go make some money this way. There are always options if you are willing to see them. When you listed out all the things that you’re scared of. You can realize how the negative framing of these thoughts has been robbing you of success. Socrates called this the premortem. Analyzing a situation ahead of time to determine the cause of death. Analyzing all the things that could go wrong, to allow you to create options to overcome these points of failure. Thinking through your worst case scenarios ahead of time you’ll realize they are no longer scary. You’ll also know what to do if and why that certain situation presents itself. Salespeople put a lot of pressure on themselves. Specifically if you are rewarded through commission based sales. I’m going to be hungry. I’m going to disappoint my family. I may disappoint my wife. My parents will be disappointed. All of these thoughts become additional pressure that applies a neediness on your sales presentation. I get it if these thoughts or feelings are real for you at this moment. But do you want to be paying the price of these thoughts also sabotaging your sales as well? This neediness is felt at the gut level by anyone you are speaking with. Forcing them to question if they should, or can work with you. Remember quality questions impact your life. Therefore a better question would be how can I present massive value to this client to win this deal? It really helps if you understand their personality style and can personalize your message to match the needs of their personality. You can remove the pressure from having to win this one deal.