The Idea Of Death With Dignity

For many people, death itself is not the most fearful thing, but rather the uncertainty of how and when it will occur and whether at the end of their life they will be able to feel a sense of fulfillment. What does having a sense of fulfillment at the end of our life mean? For some people it’s feeling they have lived a long, life filled mainly with contentment. For others, it’s having the opportunity to say I love you and have final conversations with their family and friends. And for some, it’s having a feeling of peace and gratitude that they have had a positive influence on the world. It’s interesting and amazing to me to observe the mental clarity and direct emotions that some people share near death. I remember brief, yet salient conversations with family members, right before their passing, about the time we spend on earth. More than a few times I’ve been with family members in their last moments of life who wanted to leave me simple messages about living and said things like live life well, eat ice cream, experience all that life has to offer, be adventurous, travel, be yourself, find your passions, love more. People near death have a funny way of cutting through all the noise and clutter the mind likes to create and just get to the core essence of something meaningful. Most people believe that life and our precious time here on Earth is truly a gift like no other. And I believe that what we make of our time and pursuits while we are alive is 100 percent up to us. Certainly we all have different life circumstances, opportunities, and challenges. Ultimately we are the stewards of our own individual life.

Human Nature

Who we are and choose to become and how we make an impact in the world is up to us as individuals. Did they live a life well spent, with convictions of consequence, with purpose and resolve, to enable them to be a force for good? The idea of dying is downright depressing to most. Few want to think about death, at least not that frequently. There is a futility to thinking too much about death. It’s like thinking about the vastness of space, infinity, or meaning of life. Eventually death comes to us, so there seems no sense in occupying the mind with our ultimate fate. Instead, we should immerse ourselves in the power and delight of the here and now and be present with our body, spirit, and mind. Therefore we need to be mindful, principled, and deliberate in our pursuit of creating meaning and purpose through the life we’ve been bestowed. We are all on Earth for a moment of time. That time may be a few hours, a few years, or many decades long. No matter what the duration is, our life is intrinsically connected with the lives of other beings, and this can carry a meaning more profound than we realize. By choosing to value and respect the lives of others, you essentially demonstrate value and respect for your own life.

Good Times Bad Times

And, by respecting your mind, body, and soul, you in turn let other people know that you are to be respected. When people are faced with the prospect of dying, they often have an awakening to a greater meaning and value of their life. Death has a leveling effect on our ego. I’ve seen people impacted by disease who have had to consider their death sooner than their peers. When we understand that life has a time stamp we regard our minutes, hours and days differently. When viewed in light of a certainty of soon dying, time is invaluable, the only commodity that matters. As far as we know, we have one body and one time here on Earth. Making the most of our time is our real occupation. We can choose to be angry, cynical, skeptical, jealous, envious, or indifferent during our lives, or we can choose to be kind, joyful, optimistic, giving, and caring. The universe, the earth, and life are made up of positive and negative forces. But we also see that dying can be peaceful and hopeful when believed to be a bridge to a new life. Death for many comes unexpectedly.

The Name Of The Game

For others, death is a process, a deliberate experience. There are, unfortunately, people who commit suicide, drawing to conclusion their physical life, often out of despair. There are also people with terminal disease who have, after much deliberation, chosen to be euthanized to end their physical suffering and provide them with a sense of dignified passage. The idea of death with dignity, as we have coined the choice to end our life rather than having medical or other treatment to prolong it, is a difficult topic as there are many points of view on this personal subject. On one hand, death with dignity can mean holding a view of supporting life without medical intervention for as long as possible as a suffering person is comforted and guided through the experience of death. This is usually the goal of choosing to be in a hospice setting during the ending of a life. From another perspective, it can mean the sufferer makes her or his own decision on how, and essentially when, they will pass, putting dying with dignity within their own grasp and control with the aid of a physician. Death is about the person dying, not about everyone else. When we see someone in pain and in suffering, we cannot help but feel terrible and want them to have a painless and quick passage. The process of dying seems quick and painless only for a few. Just as the conception of life is intimate and personal, so too is death, or it should be. Death with dignity, then, is about the opportunity to respect the sanctity of the passage when a person is ready to die. Whether it is a swift or prolonged process, this gives a dying person time to reflect in peace that eventually the blessed soul transforms itself from a mortal to a spiritual being, or give relief to someone who can choose the time of their death when they want an end to their suffering.