Trying To Measure That Value

Since they cohost their podcast, negotiate as one, and fully understand the calculation and equation of what value they add, this makes sense. When each does well, the show does well, and both do well. But don’t stop at asking your coworkers how much they make. The internal finance department is another place where people know the numbers. So do executives who head teams. So does the vendor management group that negotiates the contracts for any outside services the company uses. You’re trying to measure that value as clearly as possible so that you can negotiate on the basis of how much value you add, to make your numbers higher. This is an essential step toward growing your own wealth over time. Confidence that the price tag you put on your value really does reflect your value is essential to negotiating successfully. Just be sure you really do know what constitutes your value and what doesn’t. I very nearly slipped up on this shortly after I came off The Bachelorette, when I was asked to go on Bachelor in Paradise. All previous cast members from all the shows in the Bachelor franchise come together on an island and see if they can date one another.

Between A Laugh And A Tear

It’s wild, it’s crazy, and some folks think it’s tacky, so I definitely wanted my stint on it to be worth it. My first negotiation was to ask for a higher daily rate than the 300 dollars that was being offered. I negotiated that up to 600 dollars per day. This was a far cry from when I went on The Bachelorette with the bank’s permission and to its eventual profit. So, while I had won a higher daily rate, I also wanted a guarantee from the producers. What I negotiated was a commitment of 5,000 dollars from them. To engage in the Bachelor in Paradise’s shenanigans and to turn myself into a goof suddenly seemed like a move that could diminish the brand I had won through The Bachelorette. Not a good move, I realized, to increase my value. Rather, this might tarnish it a bit. And my intentions weren’t very authentic this time around. I wasn’t ready to go find a life partner just weeks after getting dumped on Season 14 of The Bachelorette. So I bowed out of the deal I had struck and never went on the show at all.

Say Something Nice

What the Hell Is Negotiating, Anyway? And you will find that after you get past any obstacles, the bargain you arrange is in fact an exchange of value. A few paragraphs ago, I used the word hamstring to describe the power that facts can bring to your negotiating stance. I hope that didn’t suggest that you should equate heading into a negotiation with going into battle. In fact, that is absolutely the wrong way to proceed. But there’s something even more basic to negotiating. It’s really about emotions. When you meet with your boss to negotiate for a raise, you will succeed only when you get to his or her emotional center. What excites this person? What is he or she afraid of? If you can connect emotionally with the decision maker’s enthusiasm and fears, you are likely to get what you came for. He knew the network wanted and needed him because of the ratings he was providing them. I once heard a successful negotiator say that it’s not just that everybody takes something home from it. It’s that everybody feels like they are taking something home from it. Emotion is the core of it, and making everyone involved feel like the solution arrived at was their undertaking is imperative.

That's The Way

It has long been known that emotions affect decision making. Rational decisions made on the basis of expected utility are invariably influenced by the decision maker’s emotions at the exact moment of decision. And as we all know, emotional states drastically change by the hour, by the day, and by whatever stage of our life we’re in. Research on this subject began in the latter part of the last century and continues to this day. We all know it’s true because we know that our emotions affect our decisions. The important thing is to be aware of that. Reinforce the former and avoid the latter, and you help your chances of getting a favorable decision. How to create that connection? A criminal investigator interviewing a murder suspect is dealing with someone he or she believes has already stepped outside the norms of social behavior. That means that normal social tactics are not going to work with such an individual, so the investigator might mirror the suspect’s body language, position his or her questions in a preposterous order, or act out a kind of gonzo bond with the suspect. The investigator knows that the suspect will only confess when his or her emotions are so affected that all logic is gone. He or she has to play the suspect on an emotional basis to get the confession needed. His voice never rose above normal volume as she asked a series of questions, probed more deeply into some of the answers, and raised issues already widely exposed in public. Calm, gentle, intelligent, modulating her voice from classically cool to concerned and sympathetic, Sawyer staged an interview that not only zeroed in instantly on the young star’s emotional core but also opened her up. Britney fans were outraged at their star’s revelations and demanded that Sawyer apologize. The journalist and former news anchor never responded. Most of us are not criminal investigators or distinguished journalists and crack interviewers, but the idea is the same. Get past the logic of your case to the emotions to which the decision maker responds. This doesn’t mean you don’t need all the facts. On the contrary, exactitude is essential in the story you tell. What does this have to do with cereal boxes? They can’t talk, and frankly, the act of buying a box of cereal involves very little emotional attachment.