Improving Your Attention Span

Limiting tech time doesn’t guarantee that your kids will not encounter garbage. This could have been a child making socially unaware conversation, but possibly not. Either way, no one should be sharing their address with a stranger over the internet. They put in hard work up front and observed the incredible results of their kids without any screens. As kids grow older and a part of their social lives seems to migrate into the online world, this may change. Parents will need to be reasonable but not passive, drawing clear boundaries while also allowing space for kids to make some of their own decisions. Rules are so helpful to navigating the tech world, but we also don’t want to be inflexible and legalistic. The goal is to make tech work for us, not to stress us out. Digital entertainment, together. Technology is at its best when we use it to connect with and enjoy people we love. Family movie nights, family Mario Kart tournaments, a joint game of Kahoot trivia. Exceptions like these might happen a few times per week.

The One On The Left Is On The Right

Each exception should be a discrete event with a defined starting and stopping time. You are using technology as a venue to connect and share an experience together. Also, by setting expectations up front, you will have less arguing or negotiating when the movie ends. When it’s not your house. When our children go to a friend’s house, they abide by the house rules of the parent in charge. This assumes that you trust the parents to set safe boundaries. If you aren’t sure, it is okay to request that the kids avoid screen use. Or better yet, invite the other child to your house. If your kids are going to a grandparent’s house, have an open conversation with grandparents about the journey you’ve been on, and how much better behaved your kids have been without all the tech. Tell them what you’ve read about technology hurting kids. Ask if they’d be willing to maintain the limits you’ve set in place. Again, mind your tone in these conversations.

Keep On Breaking The Rules

It might be best if the spouse who is biologically related to the grandparents has this conversation. What does the Eiffel Tower look like? How long would it take us to get to India by airplane? Can I make a Google Slides presentation about minerals? Keep your family computer in the kitchen. But when they ask for one of the above, and they do it in plain view of a supervising adult, why not? We let our kids use technology occasionally, as a tool to complete brief, specific tasks. Not only are you removing screens, but you will be filling the spaces that screens leave behind with worthwhile endeavors. When we call our kids out of their passive comfort zones, we are bringing them closer to achieving their true potential. There is a gap between their current abilities and what is possible. As parents, we have the privilege of coaching them from what they cannot do toward what they will be able to do one day. Help pull your kids into this space and give them the tools they need. Encourage the heck out of them. Watch the magic happen. But it all starts with creating spaces. As you read through the following paragraphs, keep your journal handy and jot down specific time and location ideas for your kids to invest time in the following spaces, based on how they are uniquely wired.

A Personal Failure

Studies have shown that improving your attention span, sharpening your memory, and bolstering thinking skills is directly correlated with spending time in nature. Helping our kids think more clearly and feel calmer is as simple as going outside. Sometimes we overcomplicate this. Hand your child a paper bag and tell her to collect red objects from the yard. Give her a seed from your apple and have her plant it. Suggest the kids build a fairy fort under that overgrown bush out back. Have them collect different leaves and rub them with crayons. Options are endless! Research repeatedly shows us that frequency and depth of reading are enormous predictors of future success. Create settings that champion reading. Gather a pile of pillows and set them in front of the sunny spot by the window. Call it a reading nook. Lay a blanket on the lawn. Spaces for honing responsibility. Too many teenagers today are less productive and more entertained than ever before. Let’s set our youngest kids on a different trajectory. Maybe your children are too small for legal employment, but it’s never too early to help them understand the joy and responsibility of doing a job well and managing their money. Maybe they can come up with their own business plan, offering additional household chores to earn some cash. We all have a natural bent toward easy. Who wants to put effort in when we could lie on the couch? We must train our kids to take pride in their spaces and to look for ways to bless their family and home. Instill a love of serving in your kids. The best way to do this is to encourage, notice, and praise. In real conversations. Real conversations that include lulls and plenty of awkwardness. Dumping every device into the ocean? Conversation. Phew! We can totally do that! Create spaces for your kids to have friends over, meet at the park, bike to the dirt lot, and ruminate together with a friend. Don’t overcomplicate it. They do not need a headset or Call of Duty to facilitate social interactions. Plan a hangout for your daughter and her friend. Teach them the art of the lanyard keychain. When it comes to digital entertainment for our young kids, less is best. With lots of parental love, attention, and firm boundaries, we can help our young kids navigate technology well. If you’re wondering what that looks like in the tween and early teen years, keep reading. A lot has changed since then.