Own Unique Challenges And Circumstances

As a child, my objectives were really to just try and be a kid as much as I could. I’m not sure if it was the hysterics of the crying or the weather that was more unsettling, but I started crying. My mom was practically begging me to open the door. I was four or five years old. This was the beginning of a serious change in my life. I would represent my father against my mother, and my mother against my father. Pro bono, naturally. I moved schools what seemed like every other year and things behind the scenes were not going swimmingly. I wore masks, so you would never know, but it was tough. There is a pretty extensive history of alcohol and drug abuse on both sides of my family, and, to an extent, violence as well. I played Little League, too, so it wasn’t all bad. It wasn’t sustainable.

Ties That Bind

I rarely, if ever, missed school. School was a place for me, at times, to take my mask off! It was usually pretty harmless. After I ran away from home, I ended up with Dad. At the time, he was living in New England, so I enrolled at a local school. Within two years, Dad decided it would be best to move across the country. It wasn’t long before we were on our way back home to where we moved from. Once resettled, the results of my own choices came back to bite me. Quit makin’ these choices, or go and live with your mother [and stepdad]. Immature and stubborn, I chose the latter. In fact, I have come to resent Change altogether. I was pretty withdrawn from my new surroundings. I started smoking pot as a sophomore and got into a pretty serious depression.

Raise Your Hand

I would find ways to convince my mom to let me stay home from school. At one point, I was trying to find a way to transfer schools. I can still remember two days in particular. The first is the day that my relationship with my big sister shifted forever. The second is the day that my relationship with Change shifted forever. The first was when I asked my sister if I could spend the night in her room because I was pretty shaken by an altercation that had happened between our mom and stepdad. This was during my middle school years. Of course she said yes. We watched Legally Blonde. The second was when I actually had to leave a class in high school because I was so upset. After I left class, I went to an empty part of the building. I sat on the floor, distraught.

Less Than Pure

I ended up not going. But it was this extension of friendship that allowed me to show up to school the next day. And the day after that. Eventually, I tried out for the basketball team, and the following year ran for student council. Both of these instances were momentous for me because they taught me invaluable lessons. The first was that it is okay, and oftentimes necessary to lean on and ask for support. The second is that the way the world perceives you, the way you perceive yourself, and the way you want to be perceived are three completely different things. In the moment when I was getting teased, I thought I was the lamest person in the world and that I was completely alone and isolated. I also had never really considered the fact that I actually had control over a lot more of my situation than I thought. Once I leaned into Change and got to know Change a little bit, I started to see a shift. This shift allowed me to start to see a future for myself. This future included helping people navigate their own unique challenges and circumstances through teaching and coaching. Everywhere I go, there I am. There were some things that were out of my control, but I also had a lot of control of things, such as how to treat people, how to be dependable, how to bring and spread kindness and joy, and how to encourage. I liken it to being a great singles player in tennis. You cannot hit great shots without having great confidence, but you cannot have great confidence without hitting great shots, so where do you begin? You begin with surrounding yourself with great support, and you lean on that support. We all have unique obstacles in our lives that we need to overcome or be overcome by. I think for me the important thing to consider is that you are not necessarily getting to a place of arrival. People often say things like Once I get this job I’ll be all set, or Once the kids turn eighteen we’ll be great, or Once this semester is over it’ll be good. And some of that may be true. It is better to stay ready for Change than it is to get ready for Change. I feel like I am pulling myself through mud. It is an ongoing process in which I need to be an active participant. Today, I am a teacher and coach. I feel incredibly fortunate and motivated to show up to school and practice each day with an opportunity to work with students, athletes, and colleagues. I pride myself on taking things in stride and being someone who has a really positive relationship with Change. Having overcome a lot of adverse experiences both on my own and with the help of others, I take a tremendous amount of responsibility and pride in being able to instill confidence in those around me to do the same for themselves, and to also support them through their very own experiences. I spent my life staring out the window playing the A movie, the one where I’m doing a concert in the Sydney Opera House, winning an award, or watching a movie when one of my songs comes on.