There Are Limits On Human Energy

We women often carry more than our fair share of the load. The number of kids I have matters. This can happen without our agreeing to it. I’d like to know who first had the courage to say, I don’t have time for that. Whoever she is, may she be blessed! That phrase is one we all need to say now and again. There are limits on human energy. For starters, there’s just one of each of us. I am so outnumbered in our family, it’s not even funny! I bet you feel that way sometimes too. Time is also a limit. All I’m in charge of is . Our kids, and then everyone else. Knowing my true identity brings a healthy tension between humility and confidence.

Out Of Touch

I’m not cocky, but I can face situations with courage because I know my place. It’s part of how I become more the woman He created me to be. When I choose wisely what I say yes to, it allows room for His extra. What I do with today will shape the Kirsten I am tomorrow. This is pretty humbling stuff. A while back, Benjamin and I decided we needed to prioritize time together. Our relationship is too important to take a backseat to extra. Now date nights are a priority, and we make time to get away as a couple on a consistent basis. We still have to wake up early, no matter what time we get home! Each time, we packed up and moved to a new city where we knew very few people. My body literally tenses up when I think about how it feels to arrive at a new house and see room after room filled with boxes. So how do we tackle such a monumental task? We say, What’s essential? If we arrived at night, we had to get the beds ready and the bathroom stuff unpacked so we could get good sleep. Everything else could wait.

Monkey See, Monkey Do

That’s how it is with extra. Determine what’s essential, and then go from there. My friend found herself in a season of being a single mom of young children. A couple of years in, she realized she was taking better care of her kids than she was of herself. It wasn’t sustainable. So she took stock and prioritized. I talked to my kids about it and shared that I’d dropped the ball. I told them that things were going to change. They didn’t know what to make of it at first, but it felt good to communicate my needs and let them know that I was being deliberate in the choices I made. Now I have more energy for everyone else, and I don’t feel resentful because I’m taking better care of me. When I say yes to anything extra, there’s less room for extra in other areas of my life. For example, Benjamin and I decided to take the kids on a Disney Cruise.

Under The Gun

We wanted to enjoy some intentional time together as a family, away from work and school. Of course, this meant extra on a lot of fronts in terms of preparation, planning, and expense. When the week of the cruise finally arrived, our kids were amped. Somebody’s tooth had gotten knocked out in a pillow fight. Working in that emergency trip to a dentist ate up all the margin I’d built into our days prior to the trip. I was so grateful I didn’t have any other extra plugged into our schedule that week. Accidents happen, and when we look for it, we will always see grace. But could we do without extra? And if we’re wise, we’ll choose less extra. It can be a lot to make sure everyone’s core needs are being met. This is true for me, too, because if I’m not healthy, I can’t be there for my kids. When things get overwhelming, I can feel a rebelliousness in my spirit saying, Wait! I didn’t sign up for this. So I’ve learned to pay attention to that warning sign. I may not be able to choose how I feel, but I get to choose what I do with those feelings. I have a brain and a mouth. Wisdom is using my brain to evaluate and decide before my mouth gets invited to the party. In all honesty, I’d prefer if people who love me would read my mind and give me what I want, when I want it. Is that too much to ask? Benjamin will tell you that the first few years we were married were tough. Looking back, I can see I was not an easy wife to deal with. We were both facing daily pressures, and I was very verbal about how I wanted him to prove his love for me. I used it to communicate my needs. Turns out I was being so extra! My feelings and needs are important. My family and my friends aren’t meant to do that either. He wants to be in communication with me. And His shoulders are big enough to handle all my needs. My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. What a relief! You don’t need to be perfect. You don’t have to be happy all the time. We’re all made up of a lot of different emotions, and that’s okay. You don’t have to get everything right all the time. Be real with others. Be real with yourself. How did that work out? How would you handle the situation differently next time? What extra do you need to cut out of your life? During this time, when I was pregnant, with little ones running around, a new friend and I were talking on the phone. She asked, Kirsten, do you have a slow cooker? I’m all for throwing a few ingredients into a pot in the morning and then, hours later, having the delicious aroma of roast, potatoes, carrots, and onions floating through the house.