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Your attitude and posture in this conversation are everything. One night, Grandma and Grandpa watched the kids while Mom and Dad enjoyed a date night. But Marissa told her parents about their detox and asked if they would be willing to oversee a different activity. Her parents were on board. But by the time they were finished, the kids and grandparents had made lasting memories and were grateful for the time well spent. You want to be a united front. Once you’ve arrived at your plan, then tell the kids. If they’re going to attempt a coup, Mom and Dad need to be allied and ready. There will be tears. Remember, you are doing this for their good. You love your kids and it’s your job to raise them well, feeding their hearts, souls, and minds. You’ve clearly arrived at your decision out of deep affection for them. 
One Step Closer
And while you are going to be empathetic to their momentary sadness, remember that they can’t see the end results right now. You are clearing the path for them. You are creating a space for clarity so you can help them navigate a new technological world. You are giving them a gift. Don’t be deterred by their tears. Instead, remember that you can see more of the picture than they can. Do not apologize for the detox. Present it as something new and worthwhile your family is going to try for a short time. Gather your people together over a meal or dessert and say, Hey, we’re going to try something new for a little while. We’ve read about the benefits of taking a technology break, and have read about other families who have tried it with great results. We want our family to enjoy time together without any screens. So we’re going to take a screen break. No Matter How Stuck You Feel
It won’t be forever, but for now, you guys will not be using any electronic devices. I know it can be hard to take a break from something you enjoy, but we believe this is going to be good for our family. This is essentially what we told our kids. Their despair and sobbing only lasted for about five minutes. We listened empathetically to their objections and questions, but remained firm and loving in our decision. We didn’t present it as a punishment for anything, but as an opportunity to try something new. After a few minutes, we all moved on to the next topic. By the time morning rolled around, they had already come to terms with the idea and, surprisingly, did not complain at all. For our kids, this initial conversation was the hardest part of the detox. Once you get past this, you can do anything. But that’s only going to be true if you stick to your decision. So make sure you are ready to jump in, and then go for it! I am asked all the time if my husband and I also detoxed from screens along with the kids. All I've Got to Do
The answer is no, and for a few reasons. First, when parents impose a rule on their kids, that doesn’t mean the parents must follow the exact same rules. For example, if you enforce an eight p.m. No, you are adults, and they are children. You choose your own bedtime. The hope is that, as adults, you understand how and when to limit your tech use, and you recognize what is helpful versus what is hindering your presence and productivity. But remember, the way we model appropriate tech use will teach our children more than what we tell them about how they should use it. Mom Marissa did a social media detox alongside her kids’ tech detox as a gesture of solidarity. Gauge your kids’ and your own tech usage, and make a decision that works best for your family. Fourteen days is going to be easier than you’d think. You’ll need this time to fully implement the rest of the plan. These two weeks have the potential to change your life. Choose a date to begin your detox. Ideally this will be a weekend or vacation day. This is the hardest part of the detox. Download your local library’s app or talk with your librarian to learn how to take advantage of their hold system. It will take a few days before they are ready at your library branch. You want to start this process in time to have a stack ready to pick up by the time your detox begins. Have your parental antennas on high alert so you can begin to design that. Video games had been a favorite pastime since she was old enough to hold a remote control. It’s not surprising that she protested our announcement at quitting screens. But after our detox and then a few more screenless months, her reaction completely transformed. At the end of our extended detox, her school tested her reading level. In a matter of a few months, Selah, who had always been a great student, had improved five grade levels in reading, from seventh grade to twelfth grade. Our children are each wired differently, and our job as parents is to cultivate them according to those ways. On average, kids ages eight to eighteen are spending more than seven hours a day on a screen. How can our kids possibly discover and hone their giftings when time doesn’t allow for it? The Notice part of your detox simply means that you are amping up your parental powers of perception. Pay attention to what they love, what makes them tick, and even those areas that could use work. Get to know them like never before. I bet this part of the digital detox will easily be your favorite. There is nothing more gratifying than watching your children gravitate toward and practice their natural interests. The screen break allowed us to get to know our kids better. I wasn’t anticipating this, but it wound up being the best part yet.