What About Younger Kids?

Easy entertainment is available to children in shiny rectangular boxes throughout the house. But with some coaching and a new plan, they committed to a second try. They were thrilled with their results. Of the families who used my plan and reported their results back to me, 100 percent experienced a dramatic and positive change by the end of two weeks. Am I guaranteeing that your journey will be easy? But with some setup on the front end, it can be simple. And the obstacles you might encounter will be worth the momentary struggle. And while it might not be easy, it will absolutely be worth it. This decision will transform the culture of your home. You will be shocked that something so simple could change your family so profoundly. At this point you might be wondering, how is it possible that digital entertainment is having such an enormous impact on our kids? A totally different childhood Today’s parents feel the weight of an unprecedented amount of technology in the home, and the change has been gradual. Another holiday brings a new console, a new iPhone, more video games. Another friend’s parents allow a new app, and we feel the pressure to follow suit.

Nothing Is Real

We look around and see that everyone else seems to be parenting the same way. Everyone can’t be getting this wrong. If all kids are playing the games, if they’re all on social media, then the status quo must be fine, right? Our kids are disengaged and ornery. Parents are frustrated. Our boats are sinking. From waking to bedtime, there’s an app or a screen to fill the silences, the lulls, the boredom. And from a parent’s perspective, it seems kind of great. Need to take a call? Need a few minutes of peace and quiet on the long drive? Flip on a movie and hand the headphones to the back seat. But if you’ve been at this parenting gig for a few years and have taken advantage of these new options for kid entertainment, it doesn’t take long to see the emotional and behavioral problems. What is the cost of all this cheap and convenient entertainment? Everything has changed Yes, we all use technology daily for both productivity and diversion. You had your feelings hurt and hurt someone else’s. You learned how to make it right by apologizing, hugging it out, and moving on.

Everybody Out There

You spent years honing the foundations of being in relationship with other people. With the extent technology is available to kids in our homes today, there’s a diminished incentive for them to interact in real relationships. There’s no opportunity for the benefits of boredom. Why risk rejection by knocking on the neighbor’s door? Why troubleshoot the uneven couch fort support mechanism? That would involve effort and setbacks. Not to the extent their brilliant little minds need. How can we blame them? If we grew up with the same diversions, we’d be doing the same thing. Parents get sucked into the entertainment vortex too. If you grew up in the 1980s and ’90s like I did, then you remember. We built our middle school friendships over drippy Otter Pops and daisy chain necklaces. We endured conversational lulls required in any friendship worth building. We didn’t have another option. And we reaped the relational fruit by investing time in the kids around us.

People And Places

We listened to friends confide about their parents’ rocky marriages or their silly pets. How will I escape when I inevitably fall into a pit of quicksand? Our communication wasn’t hindered by character limits. Kids stare at screens. Kids aren’t developing the way they have for thousands of years. How are screens putting my kids in a bad mood? She had always been bright, fun, and friendly. But now she is exhausted all the time. She’s often moody and lonely. When sad or bored, she picks up her phone and scrolls social media. It helps me connect with my friends! she tells her parents. They assume she is right, that this is how modern friendships work. They know that social connection is critical for teenagers, but Ellie still seems sad. In her social media world, Ellie scrolls through endless photos of flawless filtered teenagers. Why can’t she look like them? Her friends tease her on group text about her crush. Someone screenshots their conversation and sends it to the target of her secret affection. In years past, she went to the kitchen and talked with Mom. Two hours later, it’s time for dinner and she hasn’t started her homework. Ellie heads back to her room to scroll social media in front of the blank Word document that is supposed to be her history paper. Data shows that teens are more anxious, depressed, and suicidal than ever before. As one high school teacher told me, Parents assume that if a child is quiet and in their room, that must mean they’re okay. But they’re not okay. What about younger kids? There’s more going on than a simple tantrum. When dopamine rises and falls suddenly . Your child isn’t trying to impersonate Linda Blair in The Exorcist when the iPad timer dings. Science shows us that electronic devices are chemically priming our kids’ brains to respond with the rage and furor of a scorned Real Housewife. Is sleep actually affected by screen usage? Even if it is, does that really matter? Cynthia had no idea that her kids’ game play was interfering with their sleep quality. As soon as she digitally detoxed her children, their moodiness problems nearly vanished. They can’t focus, they are more stressed, and in turn, they can’t sleep. And then they crave even more stimulation. Most doctors, family doctors, even psychiatric practitioners are not hip to the obvious fact that a kid might be only getting two to three hours of sleep at night if that. And that causes personality problems. That is the majority of a child’s waking life. Doesn’t that mean it’s teaching him how not to focus?