What If I Never Heal?

A healthy, loving parent will, on the other hand, respect their child’s boundaries because they recognize that a child’s humanity must be respected and honored. When you are abused, your boundaries are so effectively and consistently violated that you give in, surrender and allow the other person to invade, steal, destroy and change your core self. It is very easy, obviously, to violate the boundaries of a child, especially as a caregiver or a parent since children rely on their parents for survival. And this is what your abusive caregivers or parents did. As you begin to discover who you were before abuse, you will also begin to rediscover your boundaries. Perhaps you were too scared to share your boundaries as a child. Or, when you did, you were further denigrated and abused. Abusers refuse to respect your boundaries because they understand that boundaries are a natural way for humans to protect themselves. Boundaries, I must reiterate, are very important. You should rejoice because now you can find your boundaries. Do not be tempted to give them up for someone else in whatever capacity, no matter your relationship. Once you begin to give people leeway to play with your boundaries, you will to regret it.

Meeting Your Match

Additionally, most people are not able to respect a person without boundaries and will, in fact, begin to abuse you because they see you as a target for projecting their shame and worthlessness. Once you begin to heal and recover your inner child, you will naturally feel the need to express who you always were. This innate human need will be even stronger inside of you because you were not permitted to express yourself as a child. After so much repression, you will feel the forceful weight of being yourself. This is a great thing and is a sign that you are getting better. Do not stifle this need. It is a natural individual need within us. Besides, when you express yourself, you reaffirm who you are to yourself and those around you. You could be a musician who writes music that speaks for your soul. There are so many different ways to express yourself that you do not have to struggle to find one. The most important thing is to find a way that fits your needs, but also helps you to feel like you’re affirming yourself to the world. You want to feel like you are being proud of who you are exactly.

Carry That Weight

Our trauma manifests itself in many other ways, including emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically. When we have a bad diet, we cause trauma to our organs and cells, shortening our lifespan. If your body is struggling with the trauma of a bad diet, it may also not have the energy to fight the emotional trauma of an abusive childhood. A healthy intestine can make a difference when healing from your trauma. The symptoms of your trauma can worsen if your diet is unhealthy and does not contain probiotics and prebiotics. Rumination will stunt any healing and growth you have made. Likewise, seeing a therapist regularly is a great way to heal. Both methods will require you to be vulnerable, which may be a challenge for you at the start. As you go through the process of therapy, you will also need to be bold. As you begin to heal and recover your inner child, you will need to be bold enough to now be yourself even when it may be tough. Do not stifle your innate human need to be yourself. There are so many different ways to express yourself that you do not have to struggle to find one.

Love Is All We Have Left

The most important thing is to find a way that fits your needs, but also helps you to feel like you’re affirming yourself to the world. I won’t lie to you and tell you this will be a seamless process where you move into a place of joy and light happily and with no care in the world. It may seem as though you are moving backwards many times, or as though you are not making any progress. There will be times when you feel discouraged and begin to feel worthless once more. However, this is all part of the process of healing. When you go to physical therapy to learn how to walk again, you don’t just put your feet on the ground and suddenly begin walking. I deserve to be well again. When I began my journey of healing, I was scared. What if I never heal? What if I find I am broken beyond healing and worthlessness is who I am now and forever? What if my pain is now my only identity and I will forever be this person? It took me a long time before I began to see noticeable results and, to be honest, I gave up a few times along the way. No success story is without its speed bumps and its moments of failures, however short or long those moments are. This is to encourage you that although you might encounter your moments of failures, that failure is but a temporary speed bump, no matter how long it takes! Well, how can you tell if your speed bump is temporary or permanent? Perhaps you have tried to forgive, and you just can’t. Perhaps you have tried to move on, but the pain remains as constant as the oxygen you breathe, seemingly choking any progress you make with your healing? Perhaps you have tried, but opening old wounds for the sake of healing only seems to break your heart and your spirit once more and leave you feeling weaker and more in pain than when you hid and repressed it all? What do you do when you try to heal, and you just cannot shake off the identity of your worthlessness, trauma and pain? Firstly, let me say that, barring severe personality disorders and mental breakdowns, I believe that all people can heal.