How Depression In The Family Affects All Members

Depression affects not only millions of people each year, but also their close relationships. Instead, treatment must be developed in a dialogue between the individual and his or her physician. In turn, family members or friends may respond by trying too hard to help or, alternatively, by distancing themselves. A downward spiral can result in which depressed individuals begin to view themselves as less capable and worthy of being cared for, while their loved ones may feel sad, powerless, frustrated, desperate, and sometimes burned out. Even the most caring individuals can feel they are walking on eggshells around a loved one who is depressed and can feel at a loss to know how to help. Noonan fluently guides the reader through a series of topics that, when taken together, provide a solid foundation for effectively supporting a loved one through a depressive illness. Noonan begins by providing basic psychoeducation about mood disorders, including signs and symptoms to look for and how these may differ by age. Noonan is a trustworthy guide, drawing from her experiences as physician, patient, caregiver, and speaker. Perhaps in the past, you’ve felt awkward trying to help someone with such an emotionally charged problem. Maybe you weren’t sure just what to say or do. It’s normal to worry about saying or doing the wrong thing and perhaps making the situation worse. This is a common fear.

The Beat Of Your Drum

In addition, if your family member is in a hot zone of emotion he may not be thinking clearly. He may misinterpret what you say or do. This can happen in the best of relationships. Perhaps you’ve tried to talk to your friend or family member who is depressed and have felt shut out or excluded. Perhaps you’re afraid that whatever you do isn’t going to be helpful or make a difference, although you have good intentions. This can leave you feeling frustrated and powerless and eventually, worn out. When the problem is a mental illness, the stakes can be high. It will give you some ideas to help you know what to say and do. Major depression and bipolar disorder are common biologically based conditions of the mind and body that affect the thoughts, feelings, actions, and everyday lives of many people. These two conditions, in a category called the mood disorders, are by nature often relapsing and remitting. This means that the symptoms can come and go over time in a pattern unique to each person. The fluctuations in your spouse or child or parent’s illness may make it tough to predict what each day will be like.

With Every Wish

These mood changes can be very frustrating to watch, live with, and know how to handle. Family members and close friends are usually the first to recognize the symptoms of depression and the ones providing daily support. Most felt powerless to know what steps to take, what to say or do in response to symptoms, or how to change the course of the illness. I know firsthand that many are looking for information on how to respond to the ups and downs of a loved one’s mood disorder. Family members like you have few places to go for guidance on how to help. I also offer ways for you to foster resilience in those who have depression. I then focus on you, the caregiver or supporter, who personally feels the stress of the illness. You need assistance during these times and must learn to care for yourself as well. Not all families and relationships are alike or interact in the same way. You have to do what feels right for both of you. While there are similarities in how people experience depression, everyone is different. Each person also has her own way of communicating distress and accepting help.

Thinking About Things

Some people are more private, some more talkative, and some more active. Attempt to understand your family member’s unique style, reactions, and openness to receiving your help, and base your approach on that. Be careful not to force one idea on her, especially if it causes more agitation or withdrawal. If you find that one approach doesn’t work, use another. Or change it slightly and try it another day. For example, if your spouse gets angry when you bring up his depression or if he considers it intrusive when you ask about his problems or how he is feeling, then stop and try a different approach. If he doesn’t want to talk today, perhaps he’ll go for a bike ride or a long walk with you. He may be ready to talk another day. It’s helpful to become familiar with these Warning Signs so you know if it’s ever time to take action. It covers the skills of active listening and the empathic response. It offers concrete examples of what you might say and how you might handle certain situations. These include treating him normally and not as a sick person, providing hope, having realistic expectations, confronting negative thoughts, knowing when to seek professional help, setting boundaries, and being familiar with the basic guidelines for promoting mental health. You’ll learn how to determine when professional help is necessary. It concludes with a section on When Someone Refuses Treatment, to help you understand the problem and know what steps to take. It is the standard diagnostic manual in psychiatry. Resilience is the skill of adapting well in the face of adversity and the ability to bounce back after difficult times, including an illness like a mood disorder. Depression is a relapsing and remitting illness that often challenges a person tremendously. It begins with a discussion on how depression in the family affects all members. This is essential to functioning well in a helper role. One word of housekeeping. In almost all instances, I mean to include anyone who is affected by depression. They are all stars in my world. These professionals’ superior clinical skills, understanding, and perseverance have continued to keep hope alive and growing for me when I believed there was none.