I Felt A Deep Inner Longing To Help Others

My hard work did not go unnoticed as and I successful managed to climb the ladder within a few years and was promoted as Area Manager to manage clients and loan portfolio of about 1,200 clients in the micro bank industry. Have you thought about becoming a chaplain? In the midst of all of that pain, I was on my way to Vegas with a carload of women for a seminar. The driver was a chaplain. She knew me fairly well, and had been following the thrashing I was experiencing in my life. Shantel, she said soberly, keeping one eye on me and one eye on the road as we traveled into Nevada. You’re already helping people with grief! Maybe you should look at taking it a step further. I glanced out the window at the dry and dusty desert whizzing by, knowing that we were headed to a beautiful oasis. Was it possible that from the desert of life, I could lead people to discover their own oasis? I was very drawn to the idea. I pondered it while we were at the seminar, and I looked at every palm tree with new interest and new eyes. I felt a deep inner longing to be able to use what I had been through to help others. Most importantly, I felt a spiritual calling. I looked into chaplaincy immediately when I returned home.

Barely Hanging On

It didn’t take me long to log in more than 2100 hours to become a professional Board Certified Chaplain. I set out to help others heal others from their losses. Little did I know this would be prove to be my own healing base. I had never really known how to be guided spiritually. Before I had always been focused on the things of the world as my benchmarks for success. I hadn’t even known what a hospice chaplain was. It’s a place to grieve and allow pain a voice. It was pretty much what Heidi had taught me. I started to learn that in our own woundedness, we can become a source of life and light for others. I had resisted so much of the spiritual aspect of life for so many years. I was always running the opposite direction, but now realized it had been calling my name. They began to happen when I answered back.

My Brave Face

They are people who make visible what was hidden, who make touchable what was unreachable. Nouwen’s quote is profound. In our lives, our mess can become our message, our test our testimony, and in our wounds we find the very thing that can not only make us stronger, it can become our creative, healing work for a better world. And that job I loved so much and was so devastated to lose? Being fired from it turned out to be one of my greatest ever blessings. Had I stayed I would have been working on someone else’s dream, and someone else’s calling, and not my own. I loved the fact I could learn from my failures and actually make them my successes. I discovered that each thing we encounter in life can turn out to be a huge learning experience. With this perspective now I can light a candle in the darkness so that others can see their learning experiences as blessings and successes, and not failures. Now my life is centered not just on comfort in the dying, but on the joy in living! I participate in celebrations, I facilitate weddings, I organize grief groups, but with living at the forefront. As I looked up, I couldn’t see the mountains that normally guide my journey, because there were so many clouds with an impending snow storm. How weird it is to know something so big is there, but I can’t see it! I thought. As I drove a little further, I could finally see an outline of the mountains if I looked really hard.

A Permanent State Of Exhaustion

That was where faith came in. I promise, if you really look, you will be able to see the outline of His loving hand in your life. I have learned to never take my continued existence for granted. I live mindfully, looking at life in a whole different light. This was actually the gift I received from having so much death of family and friends. I see life as so much more than the gift it is. Shantel works with several different companies, learning and gaining new skills. Shantel loves to serve others and her community. Her experiences have taken her to service projects with many charities. Shantel has been married to Paul for 31 years. I had to fight all odds to finish my secondary level and join university to pursue my degree in Commerce. I am the second born in a family of 9 kids and first born daughter, hence I had to fight strong battles in my village and surrounding peer pressure from my age mates to be able to continue with school since I had strong support from my parents to finish school after many girls of my age were forced to drop from school after eight grade. This did not deter me from achieving my dreams of changing the narrative of educating a girl to take leadership roles despite the strong cultural belief that girl child should be married off and not having to take them through education and eventually get married off. Despite the challenges faced as a girl child, I managed to go through high school and joined college which provided me with skills and landed me employment where I managed Kiva loans on Kiva platform which is an online lending platform that has created opportunity for entrepreneurs who might not otherwise be able to pursue their dreams and improve their lives. My engagements prompted for more knowledge and I was attending degree evening classes every day and this prompted for a lot of sacrifice and away from my newly married husband and friends while balancing between family, work and studies.