Success Is Never Giving Up

I wasn’t a complete failure. As I listened to my son tell us what it was like growing up fighting that inward battle and trying to fit in into a world that frowns upon people, my heart broke at the thought of my own flesh and blood growing up feeling like a misfit right in my home, in our schools, and in our community. While growing up, Sean never revealed the sadness or the confusion going on inside. If an Oscar could be awarded for such acting, he would have won. My heart felt pierced with daggers when I replayed Sean’s words telling me of how many times during his tender years he contemplated ending his life. I am so thankful Sean never acted upon those dark feelings. Today he is happy with who he is and with the person he is becoming. It’s about responding to people and situations from a place of love, compassion, and willingness to walk in another’s shoes. Success is never giving up. Success is in cultivating loving healthy relationships that come in all shapes and sizes, beginning with family. My husband Scott and I have spoken to hundreds of groups at every conceivable venue on this subject. I have come to recognize that every challenge is actually a perfectly planned education that we often can’t see at the time.

Fool In The Rain

When we love people unconditionally, and see them as perfectly unique, we create a positive, profound ripple effect that gets them safely through the ride. Hearts are healed, families are reunited, and lives are saved. Love unconditionally. It is the perfectly perfect choice. Becky is dedicated to helping people accomplish their goals and feel better about themselves and life. Among my students, childhood insecurity seems to be a rampant problem. We spend the first few weeks of the school year working on their insecurities, so that when it comes time to play music, they are confident enough to perform. We do little things like having the students turn to their neighbor and tell them how incredible they are. I also teach them little chants and cheers about how awesome and hardworking they are. Then I show them how working hard and giving your best effort makes you feel amazing. After that, the students will sing or play instrumental music to the best of their abilities. They know the other students in class support them and that their teacher thinks they are amazing no matter how they sound.

When One Is That Sad

The other big thing we talk about those first few weeks is failure. In music, the first time you try anything new, you’re probably going to make some mistakes. Life is a lot like that. Albert Einstein said A person who never made a mistake, never tried anything new. Elementary school students are in general completely afraid of failing. They’ve been taught that every time they do something wrong, they are going to get a bad grade, or get sent to the principal’s office, or won’t get to go out to recess. That doesn’t work for music class. If a student isn’t willing to try hard enough to make a few mistakes, then he’ll never be good at music. Some of these students are so afraid to fail that they won’t try at all. If you can make a mistake, acknowledge it, and work on fixing it the next time, you’ll do well at whatever it is you are trying to do. In my case, I let my fears and insecurities lead to mistake after mistake, until I felt as though I was trapped in a world of pain with no way out. It all started with fear.

The Take Off and Landing of Everything

Fear leads to far more failures than being courageous and sure of yourself ever could. Insecurity stems from fear. It’s a fear of who you are and of what other people will think of you. I never felt as good as the other kids at school. I saw them as prettier, or more popular, or smarter, or more whatever! I went to very large junior and high schools on the wealthy side of town. My family was middle class, but we were by no means wealthy. I felt I wasn’t as good as those kids who went boating every weekend in the summer and skiing in the winter. Boys didn’t pay attention to me, and I wasn’t particularly good at anything. It felt that way at the time, anyway. None of that was in the cards for me. I realize now I had no reason to be insecure. I was a good student. I didn’t have straight As, but my grades were pretty close. I wasn’t overweight, didn’t have horrible acne, and was fairly talented in some areas. Everything I was insecure about was made up in my head. But in my little teenage mind, I couldn’t see that. In my religion, we are advised not to date until we are 16 years old. That’s when you can finally start saying yes to all the boys who ask you out. Or in my case, pray that someone finally notice me. So when a boy finally did ask me out right on my 16th birthday, of course I said yes. It made that fear of being alone on my 16th birthday go away. I may not have had all those other things, but at least I had a date. We had grown up down the street from each other. I knew he had made some bad choices in the last few years and ended up in a bit of trouble. I didn’t care about that. I had a date for my 16th birthday, and despite warning from my parents, we went out. Well, Corey and I went on lots of dates after that, and pretty soon we were a couple. The bad things my parents had warned me about were true, but I didn’t care because he could also be really fun to hang out with. We ran off and got married.