Core Values Need To Be Distinguished From Goals

What would your life be like? What would you be doing? Who would you be with? Which parts of it would really make you happy? For Harry Potter, for example, some of his core values included family, friends, his pet owl, Hedwig, as well as standing up for those who can’t stand up for themselves, standing up to evil, doing the right thing, and fighting for the truth. Core values need to be distinguished from goals. For example, one of Batman’s core values is helping people, while one of his goals might be to stop the Joker from robbing a bank. Our core values can be difficult to balance. Sometimes we put a lot of time and effort into some of them, while at other times we might neglect them altogether. We can think of core values as potion vials. Sometimes, if we put too much time into them, the vials overflow. At other times the vials might be only half full or near empty. The illustration below shows several rows of core values vials, each represented as empty. Take a look at these and consider where you currently are with your core values. In particular, take a look at how much time and effort you are currently putting into each of these core values based on where you’d like to be. You can then shade in the amount of potion that represents where you currently are in terms of meeting this core value.

Not Afraid

As you are working on this exercise, keep in mind that the exact definitions of these core values are also up to your interpretation, no one else’s. Some values might also overlap. Creativity and fandom might both include cosplay or writing fanfiction. For this exercise, identify your own definitions for each core value. Whatever these core values mean to you, the definitions for each are yours, and yours alone. If you think you are spending too much time on your career, for example, then that potion bottle would be overflowing. If you’re not spending enough time on a particular core value, then your potion bottle would be less full, or even empty. Also, feel free to add your own vials to this if there are values that aren’t represented. It tells your inspirational story about how much impact you’ve made in the lives of others and how much you’ve helped other people and important causes. Take a moment to consider that you have already made a meaningful impact in the lives of others and consider how in the future, you, your work, or your legacy can continue to help other people. What would that movie ideally be about? If this film did exactly what it is supposed to, how would you want it to inspire/affect others? What kind of an inspiring message would you want the viewers to walk away with? Just as the client is on their own heroic quest, so are you on yours. Your actions inspire other people and your kindness is changing lives.

Be Here Now

On the days when you might feel burned out, exhausted, and unmotivated, remember that each step you take, each kind action that you make, they all make a difference. I was having a horrific migraine, causing me to lose balance as I moved. My vision kept going in and out. I was on my eighth panic attack for the day and was on the way to be the keynote speaker for the Harry Potter Conference. I told my partner that I wanted to cancel but he talked me into going. When I walked into the hall where I was supposed to present, I was shaking from both pain and fear and started walking toward the event organizer to apologize and tell her that I was simply too sick to present. As I was an hour early, the hall was still mostly empty, with the exception of me, my partner, the organizer, and a teenager who was sitting in one of the chairs. As I started walking toward the organizer, the teenager got up from her chair and walked up to me. Scarlet? she asked me. Yes. I nodded, fairly certain that I was going to collapse any minute. I just wanted to tell you that my mom and I drove for two hours to get here.

Let The Good Times Roll

I am very excited about your talk. I struggle with severe depression and Harry Potter saved my life. I’m looking forward to learning more about psychology tools that I can use to help me. I stood there and stared at her for a moment. I took a breath, slowly finding the ground under my feet, my vision stabilizing. I looked at her and in that moment I remembered why I was there, in that hall, planning to give the talk that I was invited to do. I remembered then that it was not about me, my ego, my anxiety, or my Imposter Syndrome. It was about what I could offer, it was about the people in that audience who were struggling and came to this lecture to learn how they can get through some of the most excruciating moments of their lives through the lens of their favorite fandom. This realization snapped me back to reality and allowed me to stay. And somehow, changing that perspective allowed me to stay and allowed me to give the talk that I was invited to give. What I kept thinking about was that if my talk helped just one person, then I would have done my job, and nothing else really mattered after that. Briefly, exposures are any steps that clients take to face their fears or discomforts, such as their phobias, social anxiety, and so on. Are there any times when a character you admire has felt sad, scared, or unsure of themselves? For example, there was a time when Harry Potter’s best friend, Ron, had to face his fear of spiders, in order to help their mutual friend, Hermione. I can relate to this personally.