What Are The Benefits?

Regret can be a heavy burden that reduces our capacity to live in the present. He’s not here physically anymore, but I still share hongi with him, still connecting through a shared life and love. If there are unresolved issues in your relationship with your loved ones it may seem even more difficult to move on. Healing necessitates that we find ways to forgive others and our ourselves, bringing a compassionate eye to unsettling memories. It is not the same relationship, but discovering expressions of that connection can assist us in learning to live with the loss and keep the spirit of our loved ones alive. Thinking about your significant relationships, what has been revealed? Which aspects of those relationships would you prefer to release? Which relationships would benefit from some repair? For those dearest connections, how might you renew? As healing continues, connections change again, and it takes less energy to monitor and meet your relationship needs. You might consider how a counsellor could support you through your healing. While you may be able to talk to family and friends, often they are also grieving and deeply affected by what’s happening to you. Talking freely with a trusted and empathetic professional can assist as they acknowledge your feelings, validate your experience, and assist with new perspectives and skills. One significant emotional and psychological task for us in healing is to observe and manage our boundaries. If you can imagine one extreme as shutting yourself off from everybody, and the other extreme as letting others take over your life, then the path to healing and wholeness lies somewhere in the middle. In that place, we feel safe and grounded with a sense of personal agency and confidence, and we also have strong connections with others who foster a sense of care and belonging.

Kiss Your Past Good—Bye

From this middle position, we have a real choice about the ways we connect with others. With the death of a loved one, we may feel powerless. In circumstances that require many important choices, we can find ourselves unable to concentrate and make decisions. While some would advise those who are grieving to defer significant decisions for a time, that may not be possible. The loss of a loved one forces some choices, even if we don’t want to face them or make them. These may include choices about relationships, home, money, and work. It can seem as if parts of our identity have also died, but then, as healing begins, we may find choices easier. This rebuilds a sense of self, sometimes even stronger than before, extending the energy and confidence around our autonomy. The chakra at the solar plexus is a source of personal power and it can support us to make decisions that will serve us well. This in turn expands confidence as we heal and recover. Make a list of your personal strengths. Gently notice when you use them.

Happy Days Are Here Again

What are the benefits? What are the worries? Visualize a bright yellow. Play with it in your imagination until you have the perfect shade for you. Allow that to fill every corner of your mind, every part of your body, especially the solar plexus area and your digestive system. Wear yellow clothing or accessories to remind yourself of the deep need for personal power and choice. Connect yourself with that energy as you begin to heal. It calls us to rebuild trust and confidence in our lives as we heal. Repeat some of these affirmations that confirm your sense of being a precious, capable person, or add your own. I make choices that support my best life. I concentrate and focus. I wisely use my personal strengths. Reinforce each affirmation by repeating it or saying And so, it is. Honour this time you have given yourself.

How Deep The Trouble Is

Gently push away all those things that will wait until later. Write them down, if it will assist you, and set the list aside. Ground yourself by noticing your body, feet on the floor, chair holding you, and air moving against your skin. Include family, friends, colleagues, and contacts that are part of your life, one for each person. Write one of their names in each shape. Draw a line between you and one other person. Along the line write a word or two about what that relationship is like for you. As you do this, notice the feelings that accompany each name. Just notice what comes up for you. Take three calming breaths. One colour for those connections you’d like to deepen and strengthen Another colour for those connections you’d like to loosen or even release. A third colour for those connections that you want to keep steady and reliable You may have some other aspects you want to capture with other colours, make it your own. You might like to write about this experience and what it revealed. You might also choose to speak to your therapist or a trusted person. The connection web may have confirmed, clarified, or even revealed some things for you. You may want to let your awareness settle over the coming days or weeks, just kindly be aware of your thoughts and feelings about connection. You don’t have to take any immediate action, but now that things are clearer, you can choose and shape the connections in your life. This transpersonal aspect of meditation can assist us to feel more connected to our higher selves, to all humanity, to the living earth, and to the cosmos. Meditation has been shown to increase the gamma waves in the brain. These waves are the fastest electrical activity in the brain and are associated with various states, including high levels of cognitive function, and experiences of bliss, clarity, and insight. Gently close your eyes and lengthen your breath, present to this moment. Allow your body to be held by the earth, through the chair that rests on the floor, and through the floor that rests on the earth. Stand with feet shoulder width apart.