The Discomfort To Reprogram The Belief

Our subconscious will resist when it hears something contradictory to this belief, so we can either continue to accept it as truth, or we can work through the discomfort to reprogram the belief. When we hold a belief in our subconscious we have something that is called cognitive dissonance. This term means that our mind wants to have evidence that this belief is true, so it looks around for evidence. I realized that the tainted past I thought I had buried long was holding me back. I had stored that intense belief about my unworthiness in my subconscious and it firmly took hold. Every time I would get to a certain level of success, my belief would show up, and I would sabotage my success. In the belief breakthrough process, you mentally go back to the event, and rewrite it in your mind. You create a new belief and then reinforce it with affirmations to ensure that it becomes permanent. Around this time, the same voice that spoke to me of gratitude inspired me to instill hope and healing in the hearts and minds of women and youth. It took me a couple of years to learn what that meant and how that would play out, as I searched and tried to learn what my purpose was on this earth. I learned it wasn’t through utilizing my network marketing career to inspire women. It was meant to go in a totally different direction.

Something Special

I started to give inspirational speeches wherever and whenever I could, and to coach women to break through their fears and obstacles, and to rewrite their stories just as I had. It was a difficult decision to stop working at a business I had worked so hard to create. I shed many tears as I decided to fail at that business and step into a new phase. I felt I had let down my team that had worked so hard to help me. However, sometimes success means quitting, and I needed to close one door in order for another to open. My choice brought the gift of waking up excited, renewed, and energized to create programs that would help women and youth create lasting change in their lives, too. Now my emotional fitness is strong, so I can push through my fears and challenges. When those old voices pop into my head, I push them down. I know I will continue to fail sometimes, but I look forward to the growth and insight I will gain from each failure. I choose not to suffer anymore. I choose not to find my identity through anyone else, including my children. I feel peace and joy because I am of value, and I have gifts that only I can provide this world.

Who Do You Think You're Fooling?

This is what I have come to call success. Let’s revisit my amazing children once again. My oldest, Nick, lives in Colorado and is starting to learn how amazing and whole he is without the need for drugs and alcohol to fill his spirit. He is finally starting to realize that he is in control of his destiny. He is a man of deep emotions, fiercely loyal to those he connects with, and probably the smartest person I have ever met. He has been one of my greatest teachers. I have learned to love my son unconditionally, with no expectations as he goes through his story, his trials, his journey. To love him without conditions. I can love him, and I can love myself despite what he is going through. My success as a mother comes from letting him learn for himself, as my journey taught me. He gets to learn this through failing and picking himself up, and maybe failing again. Well, she chose to be courageous and strong, and decided to place that beautiful baby with a loving family that couldn’t have children.

Never Stop

The doctors were absolutely wrong, because although the baby has some special needs, she is a light and joy to everyone who knows her. Our family expanded as this couple adopted my grandbaby Olivia. We are all better people for knowing them, and having them in our lives. Olivia knows Kelsey as her tummy mummy and Kelsey gets together regularly with Olivia’s beautiful mother. Kelsey gets to bring her two little girls in tow. All three of the girls are full blood sisters, so they get to know and love each other throughout life. Kelsey grew so much during this time. She is a wise soul. She touches everyone around her with light and joy. I am honored and proud to have her in my family. She is my best friend, and she has taught me strength and true courage. Cute little Leah is still a firecracker and is living on her own, independent as ever. The craziest part of this story is that she works at a care center for the elderly. With them, she can let down that tough exterior and become vulnerable, loving, and beautiful. And through it all I get to watch her learn, grow, cry, struggle, and succeed. To love her through her journey. Do I ever love her? She is one of my greatest teachers, my biggest advocate and cheerleader. I am blessed because she is a part of my life. Let’s just say that he is the icing on the cake. He has a depth and understanding that is wise beyond his years. Recently my mother came into town and I wanted everything to be perfect. I was a little frazzled and stressed when everything didn’t line up when she first arrived in town. Luke picked up on this, and asked me what was wrong. I shared with him my concern, and his response? You get to choose how you feel. Even if he chooses a path that brings him pain and challenges, I know that he has everything he needs to overcome those adversities. I get to watch, learn, love, and grow alongside of him.